Perfect Imperfection

Imperfection

You stood blankly facing your own self in the mirror. There was not a single strand of thread on your skin. And your mind was filled with dissatisfaction, exasperation and jealousy. You closed your eyes trying so hard to drive away the images of perfection you create. You have lost your count on how much you've told your friends to be thankful for who they are, yet will you still catch myself mourning on your own self.

You assume that it might be easy for other girls to live a pleasant life with their perfection. Earning good grades at school, being the most beautiful girl in a community, simply living a prima donna life. You might walk on the way home, or sitting at the back seat of a cab or a bus, fighting back your tears. Sometimes you even wonder what brings you to tears. All you know, is that he has chosen her over you, people who aren't trying achieve higher goals, your best friend casts you away. You don't know which part of your doing is so wrong. You don't have the courage to proclaim the beautiful dreams you have to the outside world. And so you hold them back to yourself, keeping them safe in your weary chest, securely locking it. Because those dreams will nakedly reveal your incapabilities and imperfection.

Bach's Hidden Meaning

Chaconne - Partita No. 2 in D Minor

This is probably one of my favorite Baroque pieces. Bach was just returned from out of town when he found that his wife, Maria Barbara had died and was already been buried. Bach then composed Chaconne right after this tragic event. Not just composing as an epitaph for his wife's death, he also composed Chaconne for the memorial of his tragic life. His mother died when he was 9, followed by his dad's death a year later. He then continued a tough life under his brother's care. Bach's life was a life of tragedy, discovery, joy, redemption and also triumph. These components can be clearly seen throughout the Chaconne. For me, Chaconne is an extremely direct music and carries clear word paintings. Meaning, its musical elements bring deep emotions and direct messages that laymen can understand. More like music of the Romantic Era to be exact.
The theme and harmony of the Chaconne was also found to be an exact copy of a famous death chorale, which once again supports the motive of this composition.
In this piece, Maria's name was also encrypted in the musical notations. This method of assigning numerical values to letters of the alphabet is called Gematria. And the method of carving words in musical notations is known as Sogetto Cavato which literally means Words Carving. Many musicians in the past and present have been using Sogetto Cavato (through Gematria) to honor important people with musical pieces (can be for other musicians, spouse or even students). An example would be Schumann's "Nordisches Lied", No. 41. He used the G,A,D,E to present this piece for Niels Gade.

Bach's Chaconne based on Joshua Bell

How Ironic!

Irony is probably the most misunderstood concept in English Language.

Many people say:

"He was walking down an even road when he fell down. How ironic!" 

                                                    OR 

"All I needed was a spoon. Ironically, I was provided with 10 forks."

Both examples above are not ironic situations. How do we actually use the idea of irony?

Here are some good examples:

• He went to the hospital for his medical check up and got hit by an ambulance on the way there.
• I found a dollar on the street, not thinking of how valuable it was. A minute later, I got in a bus and I was a dollar short for the fare.
• Manufacturing fire extinguishers for half of your life and died for not having a fire extinguisher.

Flowers Don't Die

This chapter of my life is called apathy.

I grew up an indifferent girl, who rarely values the littlest beautiful things I encountered each day: the rain, the sky and the flowers. As a little girl, I had never known anyone who dislike flowers as much as I did. Worse, I would walk away when my mom showed me her garden. Worst, I would thought the same thing when anybody gave me flowers:
"Flowers are ridiculous, they'll die anyway."

One day, I was assigned an analysis essay in my English class on a short story, "The Man I Killed" from the book The Things They Carried. Curt Lemon, one of the brave soldiers was killed during the Vietnam War. His death brought a lifetime guilt for a fellow soldier, for he could have done better to save Lemon. However, this soldier then realized that Lemon had lived a good life and that his beautiful life is a life worth dying. This deep short story touches my heart every time I read it. It has taught me an incredible life lesson that I still cling on until today: Do not think about the gruesomeness of death, but the beauty of life.

Concert Nightmares

I believe that my friends who know me well are mindful of my obsession towards classical music. I attended my first concert at around the age of 11. I remember it was Handel's Oratorio: Messiah. I honestly did not want to go to the concert. But somewhere deep inside my bone, I was sure that I would be missing a whole universe if I don't check it out.

I was so nervous to attend my first classical concert. It was, in fact, my very first concert—yes, I don't listen to pop. I felt like all eyes were watching each and every single gesture I made. The awkwardness led to scrambling followed by other unwanted noises I made. My mom knocked me with her elbow once in a while to remind me of the situation we were at.
The overture was finished. I clapped my hands for appreciation. However I realized that I was the only one who was clapping in the whole hall. I was embarrassed as a sheared sheep! I did not know that appreciations are only permissible at the end of any movements or parts.

During the second part of the Oratorio, I fell asleep for a minute or two. But I still tried my best to keep my mind attentive. It's funny how I enjoyed listening to classical CD's at home for hours, but couldn't stand a minute of a live concert. Anyway, I remember waking up right before the Hallelujah Chorus. Perfect timing, huh? I believe Handel's ghost woke me up that night. 

I Am a Dandelion

Almost all girls has at least one thing that she believes describes herself the most.
As in for me, it's the Dandelions.

Dandelions are probably the most fragile flowers. These tiny, white buds are nothing but cotton-like seeds. Despite their brittleness, they dare to ride the wings and be flown away. These seeds might face the most brutal war of the nature: storm, rain, blazing sun and intense heat. Yet they fly days and nights to find a good soil, a safe haven.

For some dandelion seeds who finally land, they might land on a cracked soil or somewhere more awful. But there are also seeds who grow humbly below dashing trees. Some of them might even end up growing by the roadsides, but at least they are alive. More, they receive their orange crowns as their rewards.

Not long after, they humbly shed their golden crown petals to prepare the flight of their seeds. They ought to do this is order for other beautiful Dandelions to grow.

I am a Dandelion.

Capturing Creativity

Does creativity vanish as we age? Do adults fantasize as much as children do?

Since I was very young, I've been haunted by the fear of growing up. To me, growing up means responsibility, responsibility means consequences, and beyond that, is a hazy area of unpredictability.

I don't know if you guys were tested when you first enrolled for kindergarten or nursery school, but I did. And the task was simple. I was asked to draw a tree and its surroundings. When I submitted my drawing, the tester was disappointed because I colored the tree red. My mum couldn't believe that I was rejected to enter the school due to an unusual tree color. My mum then stood up and said, "Have you not been to foreign countries where leaves turn red? So is this the school that will teach my child to be creative?" After she threw out those words to her, the tester apologized and let me enter the school.

⊂二二二（　^＾ω^＾）二⊃

Think Paradox

During my free times, I love to find brain teaser topics from the Internet. One of my favorites is paradox. If going to the gym is an exercise for your body, this brain teaser is an exercise for your brain.

So what exactly is paradox? A paradox consists of two statements or situations which contradict each other, however are actually possible to happen. Let's start with an appetizer below:

"A guy went through a time machine. He entered the date when his parents first met. He encouraged them to split up and never see each other forever."

When they split up, wouldn't this guy exist at the first place? His present decision affected his past, while his past affected his present existence itself. It goes on and on as an illogical cycle.

Horse Obsession

I've been obsessed with horses since I was little. Any kinds of horses but ponies. Ponies are so tiny and less attractive. Just saying, no offense to pony lovers out there. (　´Д｀)ﾉ(´･ω･`)

It all started when the movie Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron came out in 2002. I remember shedding tears throughout the movie. I highly recommend this emotional, all-age movie! Definitely teaches you lots of important lessons.
According to my memory from 11 years ago, here's the brief plot of the movie Spirit:
A horse called Spirit is a stallion (wild male horse) who leads a team of horses. One night, he saw a team of horses were captivated by humans. As he was the only one who loose free, he had to rescue them. He was finally tamed himself. A horse with the highest position and authority had become the most pathetic among his team. After losing his pride and authority, he became a more powerful and wise horse. Spirit then returned back home with a seductive female horse. I don't like her.

I think I nailed that plot!

California Stereotypes

Before I moved in to California last year, I had lots of labels on Californians. All movies which are filmed in California deliver the image of luxurious lifestyle, beaches, surfers and parties. The term California Dream was born in 1848 when gold nuggets are discovered in the Sacramento Valley. And whoever moves in to California became a rich man. Ever since, California has been called as the Golden State. For the same reason, people around me have been stereotyping California as a state of humanistic lifestyle.

I've written a poem about California Dream on my other blog. It describes how people from out of town visit California with their expectations. The girl in this poem certainly has a knowledge on how Californians dress up, as she came to LAX in her short jeans. And the fact that she has known about Beverly Hills and the Hollywood sign, tells us that people from out of town have been talking about California all around.

Food Science?

When people first hear my major, "Food Science", the first thing that comes out of their mind would be a field that studies nutrition, hospitality or culinary. On the other extreme, there are also people who call us lab workers who conduct research 24/7.

The first group of people I mentioned in the very beginning often ask me if I can cook or bake. But just to clear things up, not all Food Scientists cook. Sure your cooking skill might possibly be improved if you know your carbon chains well. That was no sarcasm, no myth. The delightful texture and taste you experience while consuming your food are actually closely related to your textbook.

Okay! No lecture. It's a weekend anyway.

Pounds Grudge

This is probably the most sensitive topic to all girls ranging age 12 to 40.

Let me tell you a story to begin with. Every single time I meet long-time-no-see friends around campus or in public places, the first thing the say would be "Hey! How're you doing? You've gained some pounds!" This applies to both boys and girls. For some indifferent type of people, that might be a simple comment that means nothing at all. However, for another greater population of people who are sensitive to pound issue, that warm greeting might hurt them pretty deeply. No matter how many times we try to remind ourselves that physical appearances do not matter, somewhere in our bones, we will still be offended by any body-size-related topics.ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ

Dream Possessor

I love it when people ask me simple tell-me-about-yourself questions.

Instantly, I would think of a gazillion interesting facts about myself.
However, in less than a second, a question that I'm so excited to answer about, would transform into the most annoying question ever.
The reason is that I have way too much interests and dreams that I'm truly passionate about.
It's very tempting to blabber about myself when such question comes to me. But don't you think it would be a miserable thing to do? With this, I've decided to keep the blabber for myself and my own family (sorry you guys ☹).