Flowers Don't Die

This chapter of my life is called apathy.

I grew up an indifferent girl, who rarely values the littlest beautiful things I encountered each day: the rain, the sky and the flowers. As a little girl, I had never known anyone who dislike flowers as much as I did. Worse, I would walk away when my mom showed me her garden. Worst, I would thought the same thing when anybody gave me flowers:
"Flowers are ridiculous, they'll die anyway."

One day, I was assigned an analysis essay in my English class on a short story, "The Man I Killed" from the book The Things They Carried. Curt Lemon, one of the brave soldiers was killed during the Vietnam War. His death brought a lifetime guilt for a fellow soldier, for he could have done better to save Lemon. However, this soldier then realized that Lemon had lived a good life and that his beautiful life is a life worth dying. This deep short story touches my heart every time I read it. It has taught me an incredible life lesson that I still cling on until today: Do not think about the gruesomeness of death, but the beauty of life.

Since the reading, I had been thinking, relating, connecting dots, and gathering puzzle pieces. I thought of my friends and loved ones who had left me. Back then, our relationships were so pure, childlike and beautiful. However, time passed and distance separated us. Love requires more faith, and faith requires more sight. Which I must say, is very sad. But how does that relate to the short story I read? Well, do you know somebody whom you wish you never even met at the first place? I do. And I believe all of us do. But despite the farewell, misunderstandings or even death, aren't you thankful for the beautiful times you've experienced?

Now, this chapter of my life is called passion.

True that flowers are going to die in a week time. Not to mention the time and effort we put to keep them alive. But in a week time, we too enjoy their beauty, never thinking of how we would see them wither in a week.
Alike, we never love somebody, thinking of how it would end.

That is why now, I love flowers as much as I disliked them.

Just a week ago, I watched the movie The Painted Veil (2006). Kitty Fane, the woman in the movie, hated flowers like I did. Which is surprising because her reason of disliking flowers is the same as mine:

Walter Fane: Do you like flowers? 

Kitty Fane: No... Well, I suppose. We don't really have them around the house. Mother always says why purchase something you can grow for free, but then we don't really grow them either. It does seem rather silly to put all that effort into something that's just going to die.

When that line came out, I knew where exactly the movie is going :)

Funny how my realization started from an English assignment. I remember doing my reading assignment of The Things They Carried in tears. Though soldiers were dying, it was mentioned in the book that their eyes were in star-shaped holes. (A soldier is usually given a star badge after a good war). This represents great honor and dignity.

At the end of the movie The Painted Veil, there's a scene of Kitty Fane having a conversation with her son in a floral shop:

Kitty Fane: Silly really, they'll die in a week. It's hardly worth the cost. What do you think? 

Walter: I think they're quite nice! 

Kitty Fane: Really? 

Walter: (smiles) 

Kitty Fane: I think you're right.

Grow in love,

Alice