Well, I'd be lying if I deny the fact that I never try to be beautiful. Beauty improves our social life and it somehow becomes a part of our pride. It is in fact, something that has been planted since the day we were born. Your pictures are posted everywhere, passed around, not passing without every person's judgement on you. I remember what my older sister told me on my first day of high school, "No matter whether you like it or not, sooner or later, there will be at least a friend of yours who judge you for who you are and what you do. And that's not the worst case. That judgement will spread all over the place, including to the people that you value and love, then will it eventually come back to you and hurt you. Just a brief warning. Don't screw up your first day of high school."
And yes! Those things above are the things we should be aware of, but there are limits on everything we do. We may please others, but we have to constantly remind ourselves of our limits. And sometimes, the most difficult part is not to stand firm despite the stream, but to know these limits—to remember who you are, your thoughts, your beauty, your personalities, your perks and your true self, in the midst of this society that will never be gratified.
I have even known girls who refuse to smile just because they think they look more gorgeous looking classy, cold and mean. According to their theory, smiles just pull their unwanted muscles, revealing their facial impurities. This is no joke and I am not exaggerating things. They have also told me not to smile so often, or if I want to smile, I have to hold my lower face tight with my hand. Why? She said when you smile, your nose will grow bigger. And the more often you smile, that size will remain permanently. Funny or sad? Both. It's ridiculous. I'd rather have a gigantic ogre nose than not being able to smile.
I completely understand this is a natural "evolution" between us girls. We become what people expect. And we cannot say that it is unacceptable. It is in fact necessary—I repeat—at some certain limit, or else nobody trusts us and we cannot build our relationships that eventually helps others to become better people. It requires wisdom to know this limit. I am not saying it is simple. It is, as a matter of fact, the most difficult challenge between us. It means sacrifice, humiliation, solitude, a sort of self-murdering. I know this because I have been a girl for eighteen years. Been there, done that.
This does not only apply for girls.
Boys, have you realized how much you have "evolved"? What you are today are what either girls or your guy friends expect from you. Of course there are certain populations who do not care, those who live life as it is and stay cool—original. And of course too, it is becoming more difficult to know the definition of original itself, because at present everyone has his own originality.
So here is an advice, it's up to you whether to take it or not. If you find it helpful, take it. If it doesn't do you any good, then leave it alone. Not being what the world wants you to be does not mean you have to be what you want to be either. I might be opposing the stream of the modern human morality. The morality that talks about being yourself, confident and free. I'm not implying that being yourself, confident and free are wrong. They are very good. But your confidence must always be based on something above you that is firmer and more certain than you are. Being what you want to be is exactly the same being what the world wants you to be. Because you are just like everybody else. You are a part of the world.
God is the Only thing that is above us. He is the most absolute and original among the originals, because He is the source of your image.
You, me and the world are a bunch of blind people. In the real world, we have all been blind, and blind people do not know that they are blind. But there are some blind people who follow the voice of the only person who is not blind. These are the people who will find the right way.
You might think that I have trapped you in a religious trap, and that this teenager issue has nothing to do with Godliness. But we can never get away from the fact that this world is controlled by an absolute power, whether we like it or not. And well, look all around you, everybody is trying to find themselves for years, centuries, ages, and never find themselves. So why try walking the same wrong path again and again if there is another Path waiting for you? Don't let your pride hinders you from that Path.
And again, I only offer you a suggestion. Again, if it helps you take it, learn from it, sacrifice for it.
If it doesn't, I just can hope your beauty does not die with the rest of the world at the end of time.
I'm gonna end this with a passage by CS Lewis:
"The more you delight in yourself and the less you delight in the praise, the worse you are becoming. When you delight wholly in yourself and do not care about the praise at all, you have reached the bottom. That is why vanity, though it is the sort of pride which shows most on the surface, is really the least bad and most pardonable sort. The vain person wants praise, applause, admiration, too much and is always angling for it. It is a fault, but a childlike and even (in an odd way) a humble fault. It shows that you are not yet completely contented with your own admiration. You value other people enough to want them to look at you. You are, in fact, still human. The real black, diabolical pride comes when you look down on others so much that you do not care what they think of you. Of course, it is very right, and often our duty, not to care what people think of us, if we do so for the right reason. [...]
But the proud man has a diffrent reason for not caring. He says "Why should I care for the applause of that rabble as if their opinion were worth anything? And even if their opinions were of value, am I the sort of man to blush with pleasure at a compliment like some chit of a girl at her first dance? No, I am an integrated, adult personality All I have done has been done to satisfy my own ideals—or my artistic conscience—or the traditions of my family—or, in a word, because I'm That Kind of Chap. If the mob like it, let them. They're nothing to me." In this way real thoroughgoing pride may act as a check on vanity; for, as I said a moment ago, the devil loves "curing" a small fault by giving you a great one. We must try not to be cain, but we must never call in our pride to cure our vanity; better the frying-pan than the fire."
Be Free,
Alice
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