Dear friends back home,
It has been an awfully long time since I last thought about you. It's unbelievable how things have changed since I left home. I never actually believed what people say about leaving home. The excitement of exploring new places and meeting new friends always come along with the reminiscence of old places and friends. Now I realize that those words cannot be more true. If you guess that this post is all about how things have changed, it's not. I'm writing this more to deliver my late apology and also thanks to each and every one of you. I know I never actually speak from heart to heart to most of my friends, this is because how I act in front of you, might be the opposite of how I judge you in the inside. And from my deepest heart, I apologize for that. I left home carrying hatred and jealousy towards some of you. And as seasons passed, I had been nurturing that hatred and jealousy as well, building an invisible parasite on myself. But as seasons passed, God had taught me important lessons to see how precious you all are. I learn that every life has its own untold stories. Some beautiful, some sad, too sad to be uttered out of the rooftop. And because of this, no one has the right to judge—neither positively or negatively—another's life.
I heard from my family that things have not been easy back home. I heard fights, deaths and enmities, all happening in the same year. Never assume that I'm here, far away in the land of honey and milk, not caring a thing about what's going on at home. I am struggling here and have a million sides of the story too. Truth is, all my joys and concerns lie on the land where we were raised together. I started there and my soul has not gotten up since then.
You have so little idea of how contented I was to see you last Summer. Hearing the same old laughs and seeing familiar smiles on faces I could hardly recognize. And so my friends, here are my simple petitions:
Never build a wall between us. We do not have much time to spend, so make each second count. I know how limited time is just because I have experienced an eternal solitude.
Forgive each other and walk side by side. Our love are way too valuable for these silly child-like fights to destroy.
Let's' not compete and create jealousy for we truly are unique in an amazing way. A friend once told me that you always want the things that you do not own. So envy brings no good at all, it is destructive, rebellious, the source of evil.
And lastly, when you see each others' faces, see them for a little more while, because you might not see those beautiful faces again. I say this, because not until now that I realize of how our friendship much impact who I am today, and not until we are a thousand miles apart that I notice the fact that my perseverance comes along with your existence.
My final concern would be my next Summer visit. Despite all the stories I heard back home, I do not wish to return home with a certain expectancy on mind and witness a ruined, broken home instead.
I guess we can never get what we want and that is a part of growing up. And as we grow up, we as well learn to let go off things we love, but never our friendship. So seal our precious relationship, for it is a stone-coated ruby. You do not perceive it until it breaks apart.
Just if you see how precious it is to me.
I promise one day I will stay where you are. And that day, I will be there to stay.
Love from afar,
Alice
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